IT was a torturous today. I spent my whole day thinking whether I should admit myself into Stirling. For that, I cried. I have no idea why but tears flowed like tap water uncontrollably. To you maybe it might be a small matter, but to me, I feel it's quite a major one cos it concerns my future. IS retail marketing what I really want? I was only enticed about the exchange programme in Scotland. However... There are just a lot of things that I would consider if I were to go to Stirling.

Probably it was the deadline today, or perhaps I was too paranoid about making the wrong decision. I called up the Mr Ng and asked if he could extend my deadline till Monday, and he said ok. Then I started to enquire more about stirling that I was almost convinced to join them. What about SIM? I can't be too greedy to take two at the same time.

My mind almost blew up, and I was like under the mode of depression cos I was so worried and frusrated about this matter. I consulted my principal when I went to school today, and he gave me advices. He told me to follow my heart, which I believe that following the mind is more credible for making such decisions. I called jii up during working hours, and she talked me through, slowly. Thanks jii for always being there. =)

However, like what everyone would say, ultimately, it is my choice, my final decision, and what I really want. No one could really make a decision for me, especially it's my own decision. All the people I want to ask, I have already asked. But there was one more person I have yet to consult.

In the late afternoon, I went out with Sue Ling jie jie to have early dinner and drove to tampines. We went to the temple and pray, and of course to see hzg. After so long, like a couple of hours later, I almost cried when I told him my problems, in fact I choked when I spoke.

His advise was really meaningful, sort of gave me hints. He told firmly that both unis are good. He told me to ask my mom cos she didn't come to see him. After meeting him, I felt peace and assured. The feeling was so different before I saw him. When I went back, my mom called. Talked me through and well yea I cried when I spoke to her cos I felt really, emotional. My dad saw me behaving that way and started to nag at me. This part isn't nice to elaborate on. I looked at the clause for withdrawal for SIM. It was said that I could have the full amount refunded but they would only absorb a $100 plus GST admin charges. I was so close wanting to withdraw cos my dad asked me to join Stirling. So now I just discussed it with my dad. He told me that he'd give me 200 bucks to go and sign up for the Stirling on monday.

Now, it's time to be rational. After the talk with my mom, I've made my final decision. For that I'd like to thank him.