Such a fine and lovely day outside, but why am I not feeling fine and lovely internally?

What is it about that is obviously bugging me that I am not aware of? I'd like to get my doubted feelings sort out - problems seem easy but to think about it, it just saddens my day. I'm not a person that usually who will think extra hard for anything, but when comes to problems like these , my mind feels exploded.

My horoscope for today is really accurate.

"You thought you totally understood your feelings about a recent encounter, but today confusion might swim up to the surface again. Having doubts about what happened is fine, but do not make any changes based on your doubts -- it's a waste of time. What's done is done, and if your feelings are starting to change, there's nothing you can do but accept it and keep moving forward. The impression you left is the one that will stay, and you don't have to apologize for it. Some astrological movers and shakers powwow about your romantic prospects and decide that it's time you moved to the next level. Is your address book current? Are you putting yourself out where people can see you?"

Gee, how am I suppose to answer for that? It tells it all. I really thought that I've sorted out my feelings and understood-ed them totally but confusion just arise once again. Is my horoscope guiding me to the correct pathway? Is it telling me not to waste my time and move on with life? But it hurts to see someone you care for so much isn't talking to you. The whole point is. I'm still not over it. Sigh. How can I be when I've actually done nothing wrong? I still feel so in doubt whenever... .... It just hurts me deeply. When can I come to my senses? Just when? I'm useless. One said, "The more you give, the more you will receive. Life is a replenshing resource." I totally and strongly do not agree with this sentence. What do you mean by the more you give the more you will receive? The more you give means the more you will lose out [loogi]. That's what I did. Give and give. In the end what happened? Made losses. Sigh. Don't believe that. People only take advantage of you when you give too much.

Just yesterday after my French class, I went to expo for the food fair. It's really small. Nothing much either. Cos what's exhibiting there now were there 2 months ago. So after awhile of browsing here and there, I just return home.

Oh yeah, French Class was kinda boring for me yesterday. I almost slept in class. Probably the lack of sleep last few days was the cause of it. Haha. And there was one part where someone in class has to ask one another a question which was "how old are you" in french. So everyone had their turns and left me. I was like out-cast. So when Christelle asked, "Qui na pas parle?"[Who hasn't speak?] and I raised up my hand and said "moi" in a really pathetic tone. Heh. And she went.. "awwww". It cracked everyone up. Haha. Which I think was quite an 'entertainment' to liven up the class spirits cos everyone seemed sleepy.

I'm going to expo with my mommy later. Gonna prepare my shopping list now. heh. Right now, I'm gonna think of nothing.