Why has life become like this for me? Why can't I just be living in peace being single? Why must there be so much commotion and complications? Why why why?

Thousands and thousands of question marks, the questions of why and ridiculous questions surfaced in my mind the entire day. I suddenly thought of uncle clare. It's been a long long time since I met him. I'm lying down on my bed in this nice weather, enclosed with the four walls, outside pouring so heavily, yet still stoning at the laptop screen, and desperately seeking for an answer. I know I should not be avoiding reality, but to face it. God how I wish I'm so trouble-free. I've never been so pressurised. How can I persuade myself that this is acutally part of life? It's impossible. Gosh.. You can say that I'm living in fear for the moment.

Maybe I should really go for a real vacation rather than staying here to be facing all these... unpractical stuff.. Maybe I should study overseas.. and not come back... Maybe...