Sometimes I wonder if I really love myself to the max.

I think so little of myself and I am such a pessimist.

The earlier post you saw just now was what I was dwelling over. I can't even get over some puny things. Just now when I was doing parellel parking in the circuit, I hit the pole while I was moving out. That's like the first time I hit it. And I'm dwelling over it, until now. I guess I wasn't on my full concentration, cos I will be rushing for 2 individual projects for next week and this motivation of mine is nowhere to be found. I'm a sluggard, damn it.

I don't even know if I can do it, cos I don't even trust myself. Trusting yourself is essential, as told by everyone I know. All these times I've failed discouraged me from believing in me.

I will be strong, from this moment on.

When there is a will, there is a way.

I WILL NOT STALL DURING TP

I WILL NOT STALL DURING TP

I WILL NOT STALL DURING TP

I WILL NOT STALL DURING TP

I WILL NOT STALL DURING TP

I WILL NOT HIT THE POLE WHEN I PARK

I WILL NOT HIT THE POLE WHEN I PARK

I WILL NOT HIT THE POLE WHEN I PARK

I WILL NOT HIT THE POLE WHEN I PARK

I WILL NOT HIT THE POLE WHEN I PARK

I WILL NOT MOUNT THE KERB

I WILL NOT MOUNT THE KERB

I WILL NOT MOUNT THE KERB

I WILL NOT MOUNT THE KERB

I WILL NOT MOUNT THE KERB

I WILL CHECK MY BLIND SPOTS

I WILL CHECK MY BLIND SPOTS

I WILL CHECK MY BLIND SPOTS

I WILL CHECK MY BLIND SPOTS

I WILL CHECK MY BLIND SPOTS

I WILL NOT HIT THE CAR

I WILL NOT HIT THE CAR

I WILL NOT HIT THE CAR

I WILL NOT HIT THE CAR

I WILL NOT HIT THE CAR

I WILL NOT LET ANYONE ESPECIALLY MY INSTRUCTOR DOWN

I WILL NOT LET ANYONE ESPECIALLY MY INSTRUCTOR DOWN

I WILL NOT LET ANYONE ESPECIALLY MY INSTRUCTOR DOWN

I WILL NOT LET ANYONE ESPECIALLY MY INSTRUCTOR DOWN

I WILL NOT LET ANYONE ESPECIALLY MY INSTRUCTOR DOWN

I WILL NOT LET MYSELF DOWN

I WILL NOT LET MYSELF DOWN

I WILL NOT LET MYSELF DOWN

I WILL NOT LET MYSELF DOWN

I WILL NOT LET MYSELF DOWN

I WILL CONSTANTLY BE IMPROVING

I WILL CONSTANTLY BE IMPROVING

I WILL CONSTANTLY BE IMPROVING

I WILL CONSTANTLY BE IMPROVING

I WILL CONSTANTLY BE IMPROVING

I WILL NOT LET ANYTHING AFFECT ME

I WILL NOT LET ANYTHING AFFECT ME

I WILL NOT LET ANYTHING AFFECT ME

I WILL NOT LET ANYTHING AFFECT ME

I WILL NOT LET ANYTHING AFFECT ME

I WILL PASS MY TP

I WILL PASS MY TP

I WILL PASS MY TP

I WILL PASS MY TP

I WILL PASS MY TP

I WILL PASS MY TP

I WILL PASS MY TP

I WILL PASS MY TP

I WILL PASS MY TP

I WILL PASS MY TP

I woke up early this morning, with this great enthusiasm to blog. HAHAHA. This can be so unpredictable. I didn't blog immediately, cos I went dilly-dallying around my house before I sit here and start to think what to blog. Well apparently it seems like I've forgotten what I wanted to blog about earlier on.

To be precise, I haven't been doing anything since yesterday when I came back from class. There was the Arnold Schwarzeneggar movie that was shown on Channel 5.. The turbo man thingy? Can't remember what the name of the movie was. I wanted to start on the assignment [the one that work in pairs] that Gael Lee gave that is due tomorrow, but I haven't got the motivation to start. Guess I'll do it later after my driving lesson.

Speaking of it, I can't help myself from imagining what will it be like in 2 weeks time. I know it's really irritating for me to say over and over and over again... Okay I'll just shut up.

Vous regardez!

Je ne sais pas pourquoi! Sighs. Forget about french, words coming out from me are SO limited.

[HAPPY 21STBIRTHDAY DA EN!]

You see, the thing is, I think I lack communication with my dad. Anyone has any suggestions to like bond family ties closer? Sheesh! What am I saying?

FYI I sometimes would say that I hate my dad, but that's not true. Just.. words of anger. Okay from now on I'll never say any mean things about my dad in my blog.. or anywhere else. He really can be that very naggy old man sometimes. Okay okay I love you daddy. -.- Funny thing is, I can never say this three mushy words to either my dad or my mom, cos I feel.. hee.. shy.

-blushes- Maybe on my wedding day. I'll tell them how much I love 'em. (= AIYA. They just don't know how much I care for them. He maligned me about how am I not appreciative of what he had done for me and stuff... Okay, not maligned, that's too much of a word. Let's just use accused? Makes no diff. I mean like, how can I not be appreciative when you've done so much for me? Am I that kind of "wang en fu yi" kind? Gees manz. This, I feel, is not necessary to say outloud, right?

My stupid neck and shoulders hurt so much. Feels sore.

THE consultation on thursday was so meaningful.

Projects are starting to fill. The only module I find it damn ridiculous to take is the effective business report writing? My GOD. I rather take another theory module than taking this. I know I'm NOT going to fare well for this. Proposal writing.. blah blah blah. How boring could it get?

As every night turns into day and day into night, I'd just freak out. 8th dec is so so SO near. I'm tired of thinking and talking about it, but still, it's the reality I have to face in 2 more Saturdays. Gosh manz. I think I can do it, but let's just not be too over-confident. It ruins you. Vraiment.

French french french... Saturday is always french. I feel SO.. enthusiastic - not. What's with this celui-ci, celles-ci, ceux-ci and all the ci ci ci and the que and the qui and the COD and the direct and indirect object and the conditionnel present!?!! It's so perplexing. Mais, j'aime beaucoup mon professeur Shenaz. She always calls me. Like today I think I'm so dead cos I haven't completed my devoir! So horrible you know, cos it's so difficult that I don't know how to do?

it's beyond my ability... [try harder, gal!]

Okay! Jia you everyone!

I can't wait to blog since I was on my way home from school just now.

I was up so early in the morning, since 7 cos I had driving lessons at 830. I went into the circuit at 9, and seriously, I'm still stalling and my TP is two weeks away from now. How disappointing.

My parking is pas mal!

[stay calm, gal.]

School ended at 4, and we had a little project discussion and it took a short while. I have always wanted to blog about some people are really inconsiderate. I've seen so many pregnent women standing in the mrt, and no one offers any seats to them. Also, when some offered their seats, the pregnent ladies didn't even say "thank you". It happened to me a few times, and sometimes it really daunts me if I should give my seat up to them. It's more like "hao xin mei hao bao".

Today's Sabby's birthday, and ji ji and I went to Taka yesterday to order her a cake. Happy birthday Sabby!

I can't really think of anything to blog.. [thanks to my STM. sheesh.]

Okay pictures are up!

ji ji as zhen zi.. ah mak as the victim?

the super slack pic

Thai food on Monday.

Look at Sabby's table! It came off!

Sabby's cake..

birthday girl...

Hahaha.. I save this for the last. I drew ba jie, and the one next to him.. Well the one on the right was supposed to be ba jie's junior, but ah mak went to transform it into Mr... *ahem* Guessing time everyone! He's a lecturer/tutor. YES IN NYP.

guess who's on the right.

I'm quite angry and confused actually.

Nevermind that.

Okay. I got my test results. IT kinda sucked, but I got 75/100. Right. Not too good. My results had deteriorated so much. My oral got 12/20, which I think was a great disappointment, cos I thought I did well in oral. Haiz.

The car didn't stall today. Circuit tomorrow.

I feel sad because of what she said.

Right. The first week of school officially ended at 2.35pm this afternoon, and I forsee a lot of late night chiong-ings of projects, especially this semester cos there are only 3 examinable modules AND alot of individual assignments. WOW. LuckY? Don't think so. I think I'll be quite dead without my team mates.

The last few days had been quite slack... Only that I celebrated jiji's birthday two days in a row. And yes, we went to the linkin park concert together, since it was her birthday. I got real high. hahahaha. I was practically jumping, screaming and singing along.. Well, only the transformer theme song I started to get high la, the beginning was a lil... sian for me. hee.

Then.. I also forgot what I wana blog liao. I just feel that the tee shirt I saw at Far East was really nice but it costs a bomb! Gees.

I'm going to french class tomorrow, and... I do hope I get my results. Driving in the morning! My parking still sucks, but it's better than the previous (: JIAYOU! 8th DEC.

I can't believe that I slept at 3 yesterday. I was kinda engrossed in chatting that me and my friend actually traded secrets. LOL.

OKAY. It feels really weird to stay at home on a Sunday. By right I'd be in Taka talking, crapping, serving and being "insulted" by meanies. Ah, still can't believe the fact that attachment is actually over.

I can't you tube, cos it just hung there when the show was on climax. So I wanted to start my report but look at this:

[click to enlarge]

I don't even have the motivation to start the damn report.

I'm so happy that I'm going to linkin' park's concert this tuesday! Oh boy. Special thanks to toodie again, for sponsoring the tix from "nuo ji ya". hehe.

I still haven't get back my french test results. Hope I didn't screw it up.

Sheesh. I'm so so bored.

Sometimes I wonder if I regret what I've done. I shouldn't have known you. But knowing you makes me realise what is right and what is wrong. How controversial. Well, hope everything goes well for you, try not to be such a fucking jerk, that's the least I can tell you... Neither angry nor sad, just feel pity for that someone.. I am so glad that I got out of this mess. Hah. I still have loads of peeps around me. No worries Yu Hui. Woo~!

PS* Benoit came down today again =X

First, I must congratulate myself for surviving in these torturous 11 weeks in Swar X ski.

I still got a report to rush. :S

Alrighty. Lemme summerise the whole week as I'm kinda busy to blog.

The last week of IPP, I was posted to paragon, the repair centre is located there, and boy, were there tons of customers. Paragon can easily earn more than 10K in a day and there are A LOT of customers cwho came back and get their items repaired. There are all mean ones, and minority are really nice. The mean ones said I was asking a redundant question when I was trying to confirm the item to repair. The other one said I was stupid because I was slow. Sighs. this is how life actually works. Great. And I was supposed to have a presentation to the big bosses, remember that I actually mentioned that?

Yeah, it was supposed to be on Friday, which was like yesterday, and Eunice suddenly texted me and asked me if I wanna meet her at the mrt station. Gee, she wasn't very friendly though. Very arrogant, just like some other staff working in paragon. One is the TP intern, she doesn't deserve any respect, and the other full timer, she also quite mean. TMD. Work for them like slogging like shit still must tolerate them. WTF. And Yena too, the technician, super slow. Thought she was really a nice old lady, but she is really messy and kan chiong type. I was super fed up with her on Wednesday. Anyway, I outsourced ji ji and that ass that I once hated, to help me on my ppt and speech. Fine tune it. I'm so proud to say that I did a wonderful job in impressing everyone, especially my bosses and manager. The starting was damn powerful. Thanks to the visual aids and speech. Lena [the ROM] said I changed a lot, which was a positive comment, and went "wow so nice" when she saw the ppt. I'm so uber happy and thankful to the help that both of them provided.

On the last day of attachment, I bought Kinder Bueno for everyone of them, excluding the ones I dislike. I missed these guys so much. [Daniel, Bee bee, Azmi, Delilah, Eileen, nana, Siti, Aveling, Uncle Aswad, Yatie, Aunty Jasmine and Irene, Ee Peng, Kat Kat, Carol, Ying Hui, Sharon, Hazlina, Safia, aiya etc la]

Today.. Well, I went to Angie's wedding dinner. I'm like so emotional.. cos when I see her and her husband walked towards the stage, there was an urge to cry. I love happy endings. Gee. The ambience was nice, but the food seriously cmi. Aiyoo.. Hmmm.. that's about it.

Monday gonna start school at 10. Good thing is that can bio EP, bad news is that projects gonna come again. Uber sian.

Shit manz. I'm so screwed. Argh.

OMG!!!!! I haven't been doing my report and I'm so dead? This coming friday I need to present to all my bosses and I'm not prepared!!! I need to call "jiu bing" already... which I've already done so. Hahahahahaa.

Yesterday's french class was uber fun! It was only that I was looking at the teacher blankly and she called my name thrice! LOL. She thought I was stoning. I was the first one who started to be asked to read and I was like.. "moi?" And she went "Ouiiii!" LOL.

Okay. Funny thing here is that, Benoit was teaching at 4th floor and he came down to use the toilet at level 3. As if 4th floor got no toilet. Weird right? He saw me and "bonjour". When I came out of the toilet I turned my head to the left and saw that he saw me and walked to my direction and then "comment tu t'appelle?" Sheesh.. I was conversing with him in French! It's like having oral test. But ONE thing about Benoit is.. He's damn nice. Hahahaha. (: